Whether we are its origin or its receiver, we all experience anger throughout our lives. While anger isn’t necessarily “bad,” it is a critical emotion to understand, for what we do with anger has the opportunity to bring our loved ones closer or push them away from us. And like other emotions, we become more accustomed to anger the more we express it without restraint, creating a toxic habit that can lead to contempt in our relationships. Anger becomes more difficult to manage when it becomes a habit, for habits are executed without much conscious effort. Although the anger habit can be hard-wired in a person’s brain, bodywork therapist and Still Point Wellness owner Corey Costanzo suggests that a person can break free from anger’s chains through awareness, conscious work, and education.
In this episode, Corey and I define anger as the need to be in control of external factors. We reveal how helplessness leads to frustration and, eventually, anger. We highlight different means of expressing anger in a healthy, non-destructive way. We discuss how anger impacts relationships and creates codependent dynamics in family systems. We also uncover the other emotions behind the mask of anger and underscore the power of appreciation as an antidote to the anger habit.
“Anger is an emotional pathway that gets hard-wired in the brain. With a bit of awareness, work, and information, you can shift out of the anger habit.” - Corey Costanzo
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- Anger as an emotional pathway and contraction in the body
- The roots of anger
- Why anger is a false sense of power and how it disempowers other people
- The first door to frustration and how it translates to anger
- A pet pig named Ginger and Corey’s recent experience with anger and frustration
- The feeling of justification whenever we express our anger
- How Corey shifted his expressions of anger and frustration
- The difference between feeling your anger versus expressing it without a filter
- How unmanaged anger creates a codependent dynamic in family systems and relationships
- Feelings of helplessness, frustration, anger, and how they all lead to contempt in relationships
- Why anger isn’t a bad emotion and how expressing a specific emotion creates more of it
- The value of visualizing our moments of anger
- Creating an environment where we can express difficult feelings in a healthier way
- Sitting with anger and how it’s different from ruminating on it
- The power of breath in dissipating anger
- Using anger, frustration, and other challenging emotions as biomarkers to detect the need to shift something
- How anger impacts children, their behavior, and the development of their nervous system
- The different styles of anger and how to manage them through awareness
- Emotional Regulation
- Codependency: Ways to Overcome
- The Biggest Predictor of Relationship Failure
- New Love...Taking Risks to be Real
- Relationship Sabotage
Connect with Corey Costanzo:
- Still Point Wellness
- Still Point Wellness on Facebook
- Still Point Wellness on Pinterest
- Still Point Wellness on Instagram
- Corey Costanzo on LinkedIn
Sponsored by Still Point Wellness
Still Point Wellness is Asheville’s premier spa experience. Enjoy effortless relaxation and rejuvenate your body through Still Point’s world-class services including Esalen Massage®, Salt Water Floatation also known as sensory deprivation, Cranial Sacral Therapy, and Somatic Psychology. Experience the healing powers of deep relaxation like never before!
Schedule your first appointment by visiting www.StillPointWell.com or call (828) 348-5372.
Mention the code: Pripo to receive 10% off your first Salt Water Floatation or Esalen Massage®!
Let’s Talk About It!
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Relationships! Let’s Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.
You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo’s Podcast Songs.
If you have a relationship question you’d love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!
Don’t forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let’s Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.
And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!
Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk
Leaning In: Sharing Struggles With A PartnerToday Mitchell Smolkin and I explore what it really means to lean in with your p
How To Have The Partner You Most Want To HaveIn today’s episode, I discuss why it’s difficult - if not impossible - to find t
Approval-Seeking in RelationshipsIn this episode, Trish Kruger and I discuss the human need for validation and th
Should I Stay or Should I GoIn this episode, Shaun Rawls and I discuss the kind of work you need to do in ev