Safety, trust, and vulnerability. These are some of the pillars of long-term relationships. That is why infidelity could inflict a deep wound within us - for betrayal stands at the opposite end of what relationships stand for: open-heartedness, transparency, and communication. Licensed marriage & family therapist Jennifer Lehr is the founder and owner of WeConcile, through which she helps couples heal from pain and reconnect in their relationships. She stresses that infidelity is such a powerful force that it completely changes a relationship - but through work, transparency, and the willingness to own up to vulnerabilities, couples may be able to reconcile and begin their relationship anew.
In this episode, Jennifer and I explore the different aspects of betrayal in relationships. We highlight the difference between privacy and secrecy and explain how the latter can become destructive to a relationship. We discuss whether the cheated person should ask detailed questions about an affair. We also underscore the role of transparency and vulnerability in healing and reconciliation after a betrayal and emphasize the importance of supporting each other’s growth in a relationship.
“Infidelity is a tsunami - it completely changes the landscape of a relationship. Rebuilding is a definite process that involves responsibility and remorse, and transparency.” - Jennifer Lehr
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- The slippery slope of emotional infidelity
- The many forms of betrayal
- Creating safety and trust in long-term relationships
- Taking ownership of infidelity and how defensiveness makes betrayal challenging to heal
- The difference between privacy versus secrecy and their relationship to trust
- The importance of cultivating reliability
- The need for transparency after infidelity
- Why it takes so long to rebuild trust after a betrayal
- Grieving and mourning a relationship after an affair
- Working through patterns and histories of cheating
- Being a grown-up and aligning with our integrity
- How secrecy can be a form of control and manipulation
- Jennifer’s philosophy of reconciliation and rebuilding trust after infidelity
- Accepting remorse and how it’s different from forgiveness
- Influencing the precipitating factors of infidelity
- The role of a couple’s therapist in rebuilding trust in relationships
- How defensiveness creates a break in the progress of healing
- The reason power and control moves are a form of betrayal
- Emotional Infidelity: Is It Really Cheating?
- Having Privacy vs. Keeping Secrets
- Building Trust in Relationships
Connect with Jennifer Lehr:
- WeConcile on LinkedIn
- WeConcile on Instagram
- WeConcile on Facebook
- WeConcile on Twitter
- WeConcile on YouTube
- Jennifer Lehr
- Jennifer Lehr on LinkedIn
- Jennifer Lehr on Facebook
- Jennifer Lehr on YouTube
- Jennifer Lehr on Twitter
Let’s Talk About It!
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