Safety, trust, and vulnerability. These are some of the pillars of long-term relationships. That is why infidelity could inflict a deep wound within us - for betrayal stands at the opposite end of what relationships stand for: open-heartedness, transparency, and communication. Licensed marriage & family therapist Jennifer Lehr is the founder and owner of WeConcile, through which she helps couples heal from pain and reconnect in their relationships. She stresses that infidelity is such a powerful force that it completely changes a relationship - but through work, transparency, and the willingness to own up to vulnerabilities, couples may be able to reconcile and begin their relationship anew.
In this episode, Jennifer and I explore the different aspects of betrayal in relationships. We highlight the difference between privacy and secrecy and explain how the latter can become destructive to a relationship. We discuss whether the cheated person should ask detailed questions about an affair. We also underscore the role of transparency and vulnerability in healing and reconciliation after a betrayal and emphasize the importance of supporting each other’s growth in a relationship.
“Infidelity is a tsunami - it completely changes the landscape of a relationship. Rebuilding is a definite process that involves responsibility and remorse, and transparency.” - Jennifer Lehr
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- The slippery slope of emotional infidelity
- The many forms of betrayal
- Creating safety and trust in long-term relationships
- Taking ownership of infidelity and how defensiveness makes betrayal challenging to heal
- The difference between privacy versus secrecy and their relationship to trust
- The importance of cultivating reliability
- The need for transparency after infidelity
- Why it takes so long to rebuild trust after a betrayal
- Grieving and mourning a relationship after an affair
- Working through patterns and histories of cheating
- Being a grown-up and aligning with our integrity
- How secrecy can be a form of control and manipulation
- Jennifer’s philosophy of reconciliation and rebuilding trust after infidelity
- Accepting remorse and how it’s different from forgiveness
- Influencing the precipitating factors of infidelity
- The role of a couple’s therapist in rebuilding trust in relationships
- How defensiveness creates a break in the progress of healing
- The reason power and control moves are a form of betrayal
- Emotional Infidelity: Is It Really Cheating?
- Having Privacy vs. Keeping Secrets
- Building Trust in Relationships
Connect with Jennifer Lehr:
- WeConcile on LinkedIn
- WeConcile on Instagram
- WeConcile on Facebook
- WeConcile on Twitter
- WeConcile on YouTube
- Jennifer Lehr
- Jennifer Lehr on LinkedIn
- Jennifer Lehr on Facebook
- Jennifer Lehr on YouTube
- Jennifer Lehr on Twitter
Let’s Talk About It!
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Relationships! Let’s Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.
You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo’s Podcast Songs.
If you have a relationship question you’d love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!
Don’t forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let’s Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.
And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!
Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk
Leaning In: Sharing Struggles With A PartnerToday Mitchell Smolkin and I explore what it really means to lean in with your p
How To Have The Partner You Most Want To HaveIn today’s episode, I discuss why it’s difficult - if not impossible - to find t
Approval-Seeking in RelationshipsIn this episode, Trish Kruger and I discuss the human need for validation and th
Should I Stay or Should I GoIn this episode, Shaun Rawls and I discuss the kind of work you need to do in ev